Friend.

I have kept these rants inside for too long.

If a friend asks what appears to be a "stupid" question to you ;

Do : answer them patiently. One person can not know everything, including you.

Don't : smack your forehead and ask them back "Haa? Tak tauu?". That'll make the person asking feel very stupid & ashamed of themselves for not knowing a thing that apparently every single living soul on Earth should know.

If a friend refuses to hang out with you ;

Do : understand their situation. Or know the fact that maybe it's your behaviour that makes them avoid you.

Don't : be pushy.

If a friend has became waaaaaaaaay slimmer than they use to be and you're jealous of her success ;

Do : keep quiet.

Don't : diss them by saying stupid things that makes it obvious that you really wanna be in her shoes and it also makes it apparent that you need to loss weight.

If a friend is having a relationship with someone attractive ;

Do : keep quiet.

Don't : diss them. You're alone for a reason, buddy.

If a friend is in distress and tells you about it ;

Do : have a little sympathy and say something comforting.

Don't : type "Hahaha" and complain about that yammering friend to another friend.

If a friend disagree with you about something ;

Do : be mature and understand that even friends can't agree on EVERYTHING

Don't : judge that person's choice.

Additional rants :

It's better for you not to preach something about Islam if you yourself are a judgemental, jealous and angry person.

Don't make it apparent that you're actually not happy for someone, you'll make no one look bad but yourself.

Choose your words before you spat them out.

Be a little sensitive with what you say to people. I know it's hard to do with your stone cold heart, but please try.

So called "friends".

P/S : It's not about just one person. :)

Hello, London.

Yesterday's flight was neither easy nor enjoyable.

Yes, I like the fact that I'm going to study at London.

Yes, I like the weather here.

Yes, I like to shop here.

But nothing beats me down more than having to say goodbye to my family, especially my Mama.

At first I was OK, despite the crazy hullabaloo when I found out that I have to pay RM2,846.45 for excess of 16kg untuk luggage. Ayah remained calm and collected. We sorted things out by the car and succeeded in getting rid of 13kg. Sorry Min, buat kabut!

Then, we went to McDonalds for breakfast. Wrong place to be at that time. The lines were long and the place was almost full. But we managed to grab a table farthest from the restaurant. I could tell Andi was a little bit stressed because he had to go and queue to buy the food.

It was 9.15 a.m. and Ayah told me that it was better for me to go to prevent any more troubles. So I hugged everybody. First, I hugged Mama. She said something that really touched my heart. "Mama rase macam akak nak pegi kejap je ni.." Wohhh, lepas tu terus air mata keluar la wehhh. Then I hugged Ayah, Andi, Hazim & Min. At this point, I really couldn't contain myself any longer. I couldn't stop crying, because I saw Mama cry. But still, tahan la air mata dari berjurai-jurai.

So, turun escalator, naik aerotrain, bought Sharir's cigarettes, and board the plane.

I cried my eyes out since boarding the plane until we land at Heathrow. Well, I did sleep like for a few hours. Most of the time, I miss my Mama. I think it's because we've grown closer when compared to my last trip to the UK. We talk a lot more nowadays.

It was the most suffocating plane ride I've ever been on. I've never felt so alone in my life. I needed to talk to someone but the two guys sitting beside me looked unfriendly.

What made it worst is that I chose to sit next to the window, which made it extremely difficult for me to get up and go to the lavatory or accessing my bag pack in the overhead compartment becaaaaause one of the guys sitting beside me was...sihat. Note to self, lepas ni duduk aisle seat.

Thank God that's over. Now I'm staying at a friend's cosy little flat. And a few more troubles awaits me. I'm skipping class today because I have so much to settle.

Ya Allah, please help me.

Keep my family safe.

Calm my heart.

Strengthen my soul.

Make me strong and patient.

Ease my burden.

Don't ever let me forget you.

This is a very depressing post.

Hope to see you again, Ramadhan.

22

I turn 22 today! Here's a picture of Jared Leto and a giant cracker

Charming, isn't he?

I'm flying off to the UK in less than a week and trust me, I'm not looking forward to it.

First, I may still be in a Raya mood at that time and having to stress myself over what has to be packed and what has been packed is not a thing one should worry about that time of the year.

Second, I will be going alone. I'm fine with the flying, although I must admit going through customs and immigration might be a bit scary. It's the registration at LSBF that I'm worried about. Before this, I have 5 of my friends with me so it wasn't very frightening. But this time, I'll be completely by myself without anyone to sesat with me! Gahhh, help me God.

Third. This is the hardest part. Saying good bye to loved ones. Guys, I really gonna miss all of you and I really hope you can join me in London soon! :) It'll be fun with all of you around, it's gonna be like a long-term vacation.

Other than those things, I think I'm all set to go. Yeay me. Go me.

Jasmin, before you go to the States to pursue your nannying career, I suggest you bring your ass to the UK and have a Euro trip with me first. Only after that, I will give you my consent. Comprende? Hehehehhe. Berangan pelis.

And as for you, dearly beloved, thank you for all the birthday gifts. Even though you're not the first one to call and wish me a happy birthday, you're still first place in pretty much everything else.

Hope I'll be fine over there. Ya Allah, protect me from harm.

Hallo Ramadhan!

Hey guys. Ramadhan's coming in two days and I'm excited because of the fact that there's gonna be tonnes of bazaar Ramadhan. I know that's a pretty messed up reason to anticipate Ramadhan but hey, I know a lot of people out there can't wait to go browsing for food, too!

So, I'm going away in a month time and I'm having mixed feelings on when should I actually fly to the UK. The offer letter states that I'm gonna be starting on 22 August 2011, but the class time table shows that there won't be any classes until the 1st September 2011. So I think the one week (lebih kurang laa) gap is for the orientation programme, which I am willing to attend, you know, to know some new friends, to get familiar with LSBF and etc. Also, I'm kinda excited to celebrate the 1st Raya in Malaysian Hall. I don't know if that's strange but Raya hasn't been a big deal for me since....5 years back?

But Dad said something last night and it made my heart melt.

Me : Ayah OK ke kalau akak nak pegi before raya?

Ayah : Kalau boleh ayah nak la beraya dengan semua anak ayah. Tak seronok la kalau ade yang takde.

Me : OKLAA OKLAAA AKAK PEGI LEPAS RAYA ='(

Howzattt? How can celebrating raya in Malaysian Hall beat that? So I might be going on the 2nd day of raya, which means that my friends won't be able to send me off at the airport, which is quite sad. Hurrhurrr.

Here are some random facts that I want to rant about :

1. What's up with people taking photos of their branded stuff and publish it online/show it off to people?

2. Saying 'thank you' is one thing, but you have to be grateful, too.

3. Biro Tatanegara courses are racist, one-sided, extreme and totally unnecessary!

4. Just get married already.

5. Some guys should stop being perverts. (Providing that us girls stop wearing stripper outfits when we go out hahahha)

All these rants are like reminders to myself (except for number 4) as well as reminders to those who I want to remind. Hah!

Congratulations!

Congratulations to the beautiful lady standing beside me in this picture. She just got married yesterday! I wish her all the happiness in the world and may your new life gets barakah from Allah.

And now congratulations to me for my resignation from work! And now I'm looking forward to pursue my ACCA! The title 'chartered accountant' is what I'm aiming for next, besides from getting married hahaahaaa no I'm just kidding. I'm daydreaming about getting 5 digits salary before getting hitched, so that I can have a full-blasted English themed wedding. That means I have to work hard, play less, study smart & concentrate!

Berangan boleh, kan? Tapi kena usaha la :)

An exaggeration of a bad day

Today was the worst day so far in my working life.

Last week I did what I always do on the 10th of every month. I process the staff claims.

So I did the usual, list all the names, put in their bank account numbers, put in the amounts that they claimed for, upload the list into an online banking site, ask for approval from the directors, and the payments are released.

So it went smoothly and without problem. Or so I thought.

By the end of the week, I keep receiving calls from this former employee whose claim was included in the batch that I just processed.

She kept telling me that the amount that she gets is far less from what she submitted.

This does happen, but not that frequent. Sometimes they mistook their claim figure with another figure in their bank accounts, and sometimes they didn't go check at all.

So I didn't panic and I told her maybe there was a delay from the bank.

On Friday evening, as I was driving back home, another staff called, and informed me of the same issue.

By this time, I was all frantic and I texted my colleague who was still at the office, I thought of asking for her help to check the list that I made.

And to make things worse, she replied my text saying that SHE didn't get her claim AT ALL.

Yeay, happy weekend for me.

So, this morning, I found out that the bank account numbers of 18 people in the list got mixed up!

They ended up getting somebody else's claims instead of their own!

YYYYYYYYIIIIIIIIIIKKKKKKKKKKKKEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!

I panicked, felt like vomiting, crying, wailing, hiding because I was so very ashamed and all those worse feelings that you can ever imagine.

But what puzzled me the most was how can the bank proceed with the payment when it was undoubtedly obvious that the name of the beneficiary and their bank account numbers were not tally??

What the hell, Royal Bank of Scotland!? If you rejected all 18 payments, at least it would be easier because I could've just paid the people the exact amount they claimed for.

But noooooooooo, you just blindly pay them when it was so freakin' obvious that the bank account numbers didn't belong to the right people!

And then I had to spend like an hour figuring out who has been short paid and who received more money than they should!

So I asked my boss what I should do.

She's very kind and she helped me to sort this mess out.

But one thing that's driving me crazy is that when she gives instruction on what to do, the volume of her voice was 100% megaphone-loud.

Hey, I'm embarrassed enough about this even without you yelling instructions at me, or rather announcing to the whole office that I've made a huge mistake.

Thanks boss ;)

And then this technician came up to me and said, "Farah, takde salah masuk claim dalam bank account saye ke?"

What the actual f***?

He didn't even have claim in this batch, how the freakin' hell did he know? Maybe it was the announcement my boss made or maybe someone spread this issue all throughout the office.

Good news spread like wild fire in that office, and by good news I mean people's mistakes and by wildfire I mean in the speed of light.

So the conclusion is, I am ashamed and I've never felt this pathetic before. The end :)

Might I add a little bit here, I want to express my gratitude to the Superman who listened to me when I was crying like an over-sized baby over the phone and came to the rescue during lunch hour. Thank you! You made me feel a whole lot better about myself!

Monday to Friday

Monday :

As usual, the Monday blues strikes me again. Normally I would be OK by lunch break, but this time, I wasn't. It was mainly because, over the weekend, I've set my mind that I was gonna be on a half day leave on Monday, when it was actually on Tuesday. The realization came late at night and I got cranky from A.M. to P.M. Menarik bukan? So work was slow because my brain is still at home, sleeping.

Tuesday :

Even if I was on a half day leave, I still had to wake up at 6.30. I had an interview with MARA for the education loan I've applied for. So after much talking to myself whilst getting ready, I had a quick breakfast and Dad, along with Andi, drove me to Bangunan MARA. My interview was at 10 A.M. and I arrived there about 9.30 A.M. I signed the attendance list, and sat down. Funnily enough, the number of people there didn't match with the name listed in the attendance. I could call that good luck, then?

So the interviewers thought it was necessary to interview each person for an hour or more, which was totally stupid because I only got called at 12.45 A.M. The irritating part of the interview was the man didn't even wait for me to finish talking! He just blurted out his opinions here and there, which I find very rude and disappointing. I got out half an hour after that, which was worrying because everyone else before me got an hour of Q's & A's. Those who are supposed to attend the 12 A.M. interview were told to get their lunch first and come back at 2 P.M. Janji Melayu at its best.

I got back to the office on 3 P.M. and I thought that was a waste of time. I should've gone home and sleep my butt off.

Wednesday :

On a normal week, I would feel good on Wednesdays because it's the middle of the week which means that it's closer to the weekend. But on this day, all I felt was blah. I don't know since when, but I am now officially unmotivated to work in that company. I'm tired of the gossips, I'm sick of the scandals that's been going on between staffs, I'm utterly disgusted by the inside politics, I'm tired of my colleagues expressing their disappointment and their resentment towards the company every single day. I could say that it's not their fault that they feel that way, because that company is somewhat being unfair to the staff.

But on the bright side, I lost 2 inches on my waist and we had free lunch for today & tomorrow which will add back the 2 inches that I've lost! There was this supply chain meeting and there were some outside people involved in this meeting. So the company had to pretend that we're rich and nice so we ordered food for everyone. So fake but that's just my opinion. Yummah!

Thursday :

I've never seen my boss so stressed out. I heard it was all because of the meeting and something about stocks, not stocks as in shares but stocks as in inventories haha. But I was told that he brought the problem to himself. He didn't do much work and when things turned out to be a bit different than what he expected, he wouldn't know what to do. Also he likes to make decision on what other people should do without even discussing with them.

So he called some of my colleagues to join the meeting to help him explain matters that he couldn't explain. Some boss, huh? I heard murmurs of dissatisfaction from the cubicles of people that he called to join the meeting. After this incident, I kinda swore to myself that I'm going to resign, whether I get that MARA loan or not. Surprisingly, that night, my parents suggest that I resign, regardless of the result from MARA.

Oh yeah, lunch today was different. Admin ordered the food from another caterer whose food was waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay better than the one we had on Wednesday. I had my first otak-otak in a cup, which tasted a tad weird.

Friday :

The day of the week where all underpaid employees do less work and chat more, yeaahh, because we're already underpaid, why do more work on Fridays! Hhahahhah. Today, 3 people told me that they're leaving. And I told them I'm gonna be the 4th person to leave ekekekkek.

Nothing good about this Friday, except the Uncle Bob's fried chicken Andi bought at the pasar malam. So gooood...

BAMM!!

It was a pleasant morning. The sun was shining ever so brightly and I was on my way to the office. Federal highway was horrible as usual. So I drove and drove while listening to the radio. It's a rare occurrence you know, me listening to the radio because I normally listen to my iPod. Dangerous, I know. So, I was less than a kilometer away from my office, when this car came right out of the junction and went into the lane where I was speeding, tak la speeding sangat tapi laju la, confident kan, yela jalan aku haha, and then ape lagi, terjadilah traffic collision. I hit the brakes but it was too late. I rammed straight into the guy's car. According to that guy, aku 'terpelanting ke depan' when I tried to stop my car. But the damage is done.

At first, I panicked. My mind was trying to think, 'OK salah siapa ni? Salah aku ke salah dia?' That was the only thing I could think of after I 'terpelanting ke depan'. Thank God I didn't have my iPod plugged in wehhh, kalau tak dia boleh salahkan aku. At that time, the air is full by the sound of people honking their cars. Weh sabar la kan, aku ni tengah blur kot, post accident effect. Then this car, which was a Honda Civic, started to drive away. I thought he was going to just run away and leave me there. And then he signaled me, saying that he'll stop at the other side of the road. OK lah, fine.

Then, one of his friends, who was also in that car, came up to me. Aku ni konon nak tunjuk garang lah, nak marah dia, apsal tak berhenti bila nak keluar simpang. Sekali keluar je kereta, kaki menggeletar, badan menggigil, air mata jangan cakap lah. Pastu nak marah jugak punya pasal, ha marah la tapi suara yang keluar tu memang 'garang' abis lah. Menggigil je mulut. Apppaaassaalll t-t-taak t-t-t-tengok d-d-d-ulluuu?? Haa??? I felt so gila pathetic at that time, I felt so weak. I don't know why I cried, it was clearly NOT my fault. Pfft. I think because I was under a lot of pressure and I was still stunned about what just happened. Plus, it was my first car accident involving another car, you know, moving car with people in it. If it's car accident involving inanimate objects like trees or cones or people's house gates, I think I can handle that kind of pressure. Or just ignore it.

Luckily the guy was a nice guy and he admitted that he's the one at fault, which makes all the shenanigans much more easier.

My poor wukong is now in Sungai Besi, alone and cold amongst other cars.

Syiiaaannnn diee? Cube cari nombor plat dia? Tak ada bukan? Tau kenapa? Sebab dah terlekat kat kereta orang tu. Tulah orang kata, kissing kuat sangat mestilah tertinggal lipstick. Ha lebih kurang camtu la nih. Lambang proton pon takde. I was thinking of replacing the Proton logo with an Autobot logo? Or Decepticon. No? Too rempit? OK.

But all in all, I couldn't do nothing today if it wasn't for my Dad. He settled everything for me, I just stand there veiled in hopelessness. I love you Dadi. :D

Disgustingly uninteresting updates.

Hello. These are the things that I found out last couple of weeks:

1. OK yang ni paling excited nak tulis. This is a good news to any couple who can't wait to get married without the consent of their parents/wife/wives. Apparently there's a new 'place' for them to get hitched in Kelantan, I don't know specifically where but hey guess what, you don't have to go to Thailand anymore. Such good news, eh! So now, if your husband/boyfriend/girlfriend/dad/grandfather/brother/sister selalu outstation/emergency breakdown/emergency on-call/whatever at Kelantan, you know what to do. Haha. I was told that it was done because they want to encourage people to get married. I suppose it's to avoid all those unnecessary things la kot. The best thing is, that organisation or whatever will provide you with a wali if you don't have one. And it is legal. Where did I get all this info? The Medical Director told me and he's Indian. And he knows what a wali is! I don't know why that amazes me so much.

2. I now know that Indians and Chinese also speak broken English, not all but some. I don't know why I have this idea in my head that they can speak better English than Malays. Turns out to be the same. 1 Malaysia!

3. An Excel file can actually be linked to a Word file. Wow.

4. The top 10 universities in the world are in the US. I thought Oxford was the first or at least in the top 10. Or maybe the guy who made the list is from the US I dunno..

5. The fact that the Managing Director is a tight arse : proven. The more money you have, the more of a tight arse you become.

6. Kedai nasi padang kat sebelah Ayam Penyet AP Sunway sedap jugak. And cheaper than that restaurant at Subang Parade (obviously).

7. I'm allergic to racism and politics. Not that I always was OK with it anyway.

8. I hate kids aged between 5-12.

9. I've grown closer to my baby brother and I miss him when I'm at work. I occasionally smile to myself whenever I accidentally recall his stupid facial expressions.

10. 26 March 8.30 p.m. = Earff hour (according to Hazim)

11. I LOVE THE SHREDDING MACHINE!

12. My weight has been the same.

13. Tukdin (a Malaysian restaurant in Paddington) serves sambal belacan. Who the hell's gonna eat that?! Apart from Malaysians lah. I wonder how much it costs over there.

14. Gaji dah masuk. Vincci banyak kasut baru.

15. If you take a warm shower right after you applied nail colors, the paint will go straight off! What a waste of energy and focusnessness and left hand awkwardness.

16. My swivel chair is being such an ass lately. I don't know what's wrong with the lever, but satu hari tu tak sah kalau tak buat aku rasa macam turun elevator tiba-tiba kat depan computer tu. One minute my face is the same level as the computer monitor, the next thing I know I'm inhaling the dust in between the keyboard and my arms are fully terkangkang. Not that dramatic la kan, saje je. Hahah. Inilah hukuman suka main turun-turun kerusi masa dekat lab computer tingkat 9.

17. Quinn's beginning to irritate me more and more.

18. I'm gonna be late and Dad's gonna kill me. Bye!

I hope I have more interesting things to write in the future. I bore myself to death.

Bali.

1. Bali was quite awesome. It was exotic, mainly because the Hindu they practice over there is very different from the one in Malaysia. The word I find suitable to describe Bali Hindu is ancient.
2. Bali drivers and motorcyclists always drive in 3 lanes, even when there are only 2. Imagine how close the cars and bikes are.
3. People over there will honk their cars every chance that they get. Sometimes I don't even know what they're honking at. They even honk at innocent pedestrians who are trying to cross the roads.
4. Guys where flowers on their ears. Both of their ears.
5. Madi is Bali's common name for guys.
6. I couldn't stand the weather in Bali. No, that's not it. I couldn't stand being sweaty while sight-seeing or shopping or whatever. Super menyampah, bukan?
7. Matahari is a very decent mall in Kuta Square where you can find cheap but pretty clothes. SANGAT MURAH OKAAAY, BILA CONVERT JADI MURAH GILA TIBA-TIBA BAWAK PERGI KAUNTER ORANG TU CAKAP ''INI DISKON LAGI 50 PERSEN YAA.."
8. Apparently they think that a piece of wood carving shaped like a p*nis would make a good souvenir for the tourists.
9. Tanah Lot was breathtakingly beautiful.
10. Halal food was not easy to find in Bali. To them, a halal restaurant is the one that doesn't serve pork.
11. 85% of the population are Hindus.
12. The only mosque in Bali was under renovation and the state of that building was awful! There were pieces of cements everywhere on the floor. There were no walls at the women ablution place. Men and women can easily main-main mata with each other in the prayer halls because they don't put any tabir.
13. Some Balinese's hate for Malaysians are obvious. Bola punya pasal. I hope they didn't put anything in my food.
14. The billboards were funny because they were written in Indonesian. "Ketik 1234 untuk mendapatkan SMS gratis." which means "Type 1234 to get free SMSs" Ketikketikketikketik.
15. Andi and I got annoyed with a group of tourists from China while having lunch in Kintamani because they yelled and shouted instead of just talk. Are they always that loud? I mean they're talking to the person next to them, but it was as if they're 100 meters apart.
16. Hazim mandi swimming pool sampai hitam, sampai kawan dia tanya, "Eh, awak siapa?" HAHAHHA
17. Bali is quite famous for its kopi luwak, and it's said to be the most expensive coffee in the world. The coffee bean was eaten by a type of musang, called luwak and apparently the bean got half processed inside the luwak. So eventually the luwak has to poop the bean out. And these crazy people made coffee out of those poop beans. It smells quite delicious though. The coffee, not the luwak. And definitely not its poop.
18. Sambung pasal luwak. Because of the increasing demands of the coffee, the Balinese actually force the luwak to eat coffee beans, which are not their favourite food. So, many luwaks become unhealthy and stressed out because of that. :(
19. My flight to Malaysia was delayed for an hour. Stupid Air Asia.
20. Never, I repeat, NEVER line up behind an Arab at the airport. Mesti ada je yang tak kena and you end up waiting a long long time for them to get settled at the counter. And they won't step aside and let other people through, and they will never admit that it's their fault, boy they are one proud race.
21. Here are some snazzy pictures that I'm going to upload on Facebook anyway.

Look at how dedicated they are to their gods. This is Vishnu and he is still incomplete. Sebab apa? Sebab tak cukup duit.

This is part of the Vishnu statue. Vishnu is suppose to like, sit on this garuda's neck or something.

The temple by the cliff.

One stressful luwak.

Welcome 2011.

What is 'pain'? Ceywah.

It's the bruise on your knee when you fell off your first bike ride.

The first trip to the dentist.

Pain is what every mother feels every single time she sees her child cry.

The shame you felt when your prom dress isn't as awesome as the other girls.

The embarrassment when people make a big deal out of your imperfections.

The sharp stab on your chest when you saw your mum cry.

Pain is crying inside.

Your first tattoo.

Your first piercing.

Pain is the tears that fall when you lost your little brother.

It is the empty space when you are miles and miles away from the one who loves you.

It is when people think you are 'unacceptable'.

Pain is when people judge you for who you aren't.

To them, you're forever that person they thought you are.

Seeing children suffering from hunger and there are nothing significant you can really do. Well, unless you're Angelina Jolie.

Pain is when people hate you when they don't even know you.

It is when your friends talk behind your back.

It's what you feel when people don't appreciate you.

It's what you feel when a man you hoped will always stand up for you, doesn't.

The hurtful feeling when you found out a friend is a back stabber.

It is the feeling of pathetic-ness when you are constantly reminded of how you will never be good enough.

It is the feeling of hopelessness when your brain tells you to let go but your heart can't seem to.

I started my new year with a painful reminder. It sucked real bad. Well, c'est la vie. I wish you guys all the best and happiness on this new year! Stay strong.

I'm an emotional train wreck HAHAHHA ahh well, that just makes me....human.