Accent?

Do any of you (if there's anyone out there reading this, anyway) have an accent when you speak English with someone non-Malaysian?

I tend to have this accent where I tend to soften my D's and my R's. To put it simply, I tend to speak English with my own version of American accent, I think.

I met this Indian lady from Mumbai, and she told me that she had lived in Jakarta for 9 years. That got me excited because I knew she must've picked up some Malay words, which technically are similar to Indonesian words. I asked her a lot of questions and some of it involved the word 'Jakarta'. The way I pronounced it wasn't 'Jakarta' but 'Jakarda'.. CEWAH!! American gituh! Siap tany pernah makan ayam penyet ke tak lagi tuh..

After some time I felt a bit embarrassed with myself for speaking that way but when I come to think of it, I was comfortable. I didn't feel fake or pretentious. But I can't speak that way with fellow Malaysians. Syok sendiri je nanti.

Why am I writing about this? Oh, I wanted to test out this Blogger app to see if it's any good. If it is, be warned. There shall be many impromptu posts coming.

Sometimes I feel like this blog is syok sendiri!

Hey here's a dandy picture I just made using various apps, because you know, I'm that creative.

Hey.

I just noticed that my last post was the first post in 2012.

So much for having a blog.

And I noticed that I have so many angry posts....

I hope nobody thinks I have issues...

Maybe I do...?

I'm craving for this at the moment. The black pepper chicken I just ate wasn't a remedy to this longing towards ayam penyet.

I can feel the tickling sensation of sweat coming out of my scalp just by looking at the chili.

The complexity of being a muslimah.

Often I wondered and asked myself, "Would things be a lot easier if I'm not wearing tudung?"

"Would people stop looking at me funny?"

"Would shop assistants be more friendly towards me?"

"Would people say 'excuse me' when I'm in their way on the streets, instead of just pushing me aside?"

"Would people stop looking down on me?"

"Would I be able to get a job easily?"

"What if I'm a guy, I could wear anything I want!"
"If I'm a guy, nobody would know if I'm a muslim, therefore people will not treat me how they usually treat a muslim."

Sometimes, I go "Why is it so hard being a muslimah?" "Why is life so hard for me, even when I'm doing what God tells me to do" (maybe sometimes not perfectly)

I asked a friend if it's berdosa to think those things,

She replied, "No, it's fine, I think it's normal, giving that we're living in the UK."

Maybe it's because I'm doing something wrong, somewhere.

Or maybe it's because I'm Asian? Haha.

To all of you out there, the tudung is just a piece of clothing that we wear daily, like you wear your jeans, or your hat or your scarf. Why would you treat me differently for wearing a tudung?

With tudung

Without tudung. Sama je kot?! Tak paham aku orang orang macam nih..

Lagi buruk ada lahh..

*Hair source : Kate Middleton & Katy Perry.

Friend.

I have kept these rants inside for too long.

If a friend asks what appears to be a "stupid" question to you ;

Do : answer them patiently. One person can not know everything, including you.

Don't : smack your forehead and ask them back "Haa? Tak tauu?". That'll make the person asking feel very stupid & ashamed of themselves for not knowing a thing that apparently every single living soul on Earth should know.

If a friend refuses to hang out with you ;

Do : understand their situation. Or know the fact that maybe it's your behaviour that makes them avoid you.

Don't : be pushy.

If a friend has became waaaaaaaaay slimmer than they use to be and you're jealous of her success ;

Do : keep quiet.

Don't : diss them by saying stupid things that makes it obvious that you really wanna be in her shoes and it also makes it apparent that you need to loss weight.

If a friend is having a relationship with someone attractive ;

Do : keep quiet.

Don't : diss them. You're alone for a reason, buddy.

If a friend is in distress and tells you about it ;

Do : have a little sympathy and say something comforting.

Don't : type "Hahaha" and complain about that yammering friend to another friend.

If a friend disagree with you about something ;

Do : be mature and understand that even friends can't agree on EVERYTHING

Don't : judge that person's choice.

Additional rants :

It's better for you not to preach something about Islam if you yourself are a judgemental, jealous and angry person.

Don't make it apparent that you're actually not happy for someone, you'll make no one look bad but yourself.

Choose your words before you spat them out.

Be a little sensitive with what you say to people. I know it's hard to do with your stone cold heart, but please try.

So called "friends".

P/S : It's not about just one person. :)

Hello, London.

Yesterday's flight was neither easy nor enjoyable.

Yes, I like the fact that I'm going to study at London.

Yes, I like the weather here.

Yes, I like to shop here.

But nothing beats me down more than having to say goodbye to my family, especially my Mama.

At first I was OK, despite the crazy hullabaloo when I found out that I have to pay RM2,846.45 for excess of 16kg untuk luggage. Ayah remained calm and collected. We sorted things out by the car and succeeded in getting rid of 13kg. Sorry Min, buat kabut!

Then, we went to McDonalds for breakfast. Wrong place to be at that time. The lines were long and the place was almost full. But we managed to grab a table farthest from the restaurant. I could tell Andi was a little bit stressed because he had to go and queue to buy the food.

It was 9.15 a.m. and Ayah told me that it was better for me to go to prevent any more troubles. So I hugged everybody. First, I hugged Mama. She said something that really touched my heart. "Mama rase macam akak nak pegi kejap je ni.." Wohhh, lepas tu terus air mata keluar la wehhh. Then I hugged Ayah, Andi, Hazim & Min. At this point, I really couldn't contain myself any longer. I couldn't stop crying, because I saw Mama cry. But still, tahan la air mata dari berjurai-jurai.

So, turun escalator, naik aerotrain, bought Sharir's cigarettes, and board the plane.

I cried my eyes out since boarding the plane until we land at Heathrow. Well, I did sleep like for a few hours. Most of the time, I miss my Mama. I think it's because we've grown closer when compared to my last trip to the UK. We talk a lot more nowadays.

It was the most suffocating plane ride I've ever been on. I've never felt so alone in my life. I needed to talk to someone but the two guys sitting beside me looked unfriendly.

What made it worst is that I chose to sit next to the window, which made it extremely difficult for me to get up and go to the lavatory or accessing my bag pack in the overhead compartment becaaaaause one of the guys sitting beside me was...sihat. Note to self, lepas ni duduk aisle seat.

Thank God that's over. Now I'm staying at a friend's cosy little flat. And a few more troubles awaits me. I'm skipping class today because I have so much to settle.

Ya Allah, please help me.

Keep my family safe.

Calm my heart.

Strengthen my soul.

Make me strong and patient.

Ease my burden.

Don't ever let me forget you.

This is a very depressing post.

Hope to see you again, Ramadhan.

22

I turn 22 today! Here's a picture of Jared Leto and a giant cracker

Charming, isn't he?

I'm flying off to the UK in less than a week and trust me, I'm not looking forward to it.

First, I may still be in a Raya mood at that time and having to stress myself over what has to be packed and what has been packed is not a thing one should worry about that time of the year.

Second, I will be going alone. I'm fine with the flying, although I must admit going through customs and immigration might be a bit scary. It's the registration at LSBF that I'm worried about. Before this, I have 5 of my friends with me so it wasn't very frightening. But this time, I'll be completely by myself without anyone to sesat with me! Gahhh, help me God.

Third. This is the hardest part. Saying good bye to loved ones. Guys, I really gonna miss all of you and I really hope you can join me in London soon! :) It'll be fun with all of you around, it's gonna be like a long-term vacation.

Other than those things, I think I'm all set to go. Yeay me. Go me.

Jasmin, before you go to the States to pursue your nannying career, I suggest you bring your ass to the UK and have a Euro trip with me first. Only after that, I will give you my consent. Comprende? Hehehehhe. Berangan pelis.

And as for you, dearly beloved, thank you for all the birthday gifts. Even though you're not the first one to call and wish me a happy birthday, you're still first place in pretty much everything else.

Hope I'll be fine over there. Ya Allah, protect me from harm.